A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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