Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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