I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
