I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
