i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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