is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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