im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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