I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
