What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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