turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
