Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
