Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
