my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he thought i was a dude.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
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