Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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