I like my sex mixed with concussions.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
