So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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