Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
