you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
