butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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