Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
