Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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