she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
