Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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