oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
