I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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