i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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