ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
