so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
