He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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