Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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