my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize