and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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