my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
