When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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