im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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