At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
NoShamevember. You game?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize