well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
