I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
my sisters under your porch take her home
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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