I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm always down for nudity.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
