Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
