"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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