it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
