and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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