I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
