Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize