seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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