i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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