he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
