i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
