watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
