they need to just BURY HIM!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
