Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
