The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
