He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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