well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
