If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
