I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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