I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she peed on how many people?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
