belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
