My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
no you cant smoke seaweed
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
