You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
