just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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