yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
