so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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