I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
