so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
