I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He told me they were just razor bumps!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
