I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
